Means to an end…

Knowing that an end was inevitable does not make the culmination any easier. It does not grant any peace. Still bathing in denial I analyze the beggining to the end. Searching for the moment everything shifted and sealed the envelope of fate. Regret is useless yet proves near impossible to shed. Questioning if I fought…

Master of Disguise

A month has come and gone. My mask still firmly in place. It has become an automatic part of my daily routine. My tired hand will rest on the door as I place this mask upon my face. A deep breath and let it hide the truth. So many fooled. They easily accept this lie.…

My Twelve Steps

9/24/2016 Today I attended my first Al-Anon meeting. I was looking forward to it until my hand grasped the door handle. Suddenly I was blanketed with nervousness and fear. I hadn’t thought much about what to expect. Light-headed I fell into the first chair I came to. As my body fought against the stiff shape…

The Red Maple Tree

A single red maple tree stands firm bathing in the sun. It is not planted in a gathering of trees but rather stands as one. Roots burrowed below the grass clinging to the Earth. Passers by spare no glance nor contemplate its worth. Alone in a vast meadow unsheltered, insignificant and small. But born with…

Defeated Moment, Masked

A journal entry. 6/5/2015 I recline my head welcoming the ice cold liquid. Its bitterness and its heat lingers. I seek solace at the bottom of my glass. I know the answers I search for won’t be found this way. Yet, I tip my head back again inviting it within me once more. With each…

It’s the Sickness

You have his eyes, his touch and his smile But the man I love has been absent now for awhile I cannot show anger, hurt or especially tears I am to swallow down the darkest of my fears On my knees I plead for him to return to me Now which version is here, don’t…

A New Approach

I have always found solace in the written page. Whether it be a series of novels or journaling my thoughts with tear stained cheeks. With this there is yet a lack of expression. A need to have my voice heard is not met. I have contemplated sharing my tangled and written thoughts/experiences for countless years…